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In which Damen invades Ever’s privacy, he annoys Ever at class for 2 pages, Haven joins a coven of vampires and I swear this is not Twilight fanfiction.

 

 

We start this chapter by ripping off a movie line I’m sure none of you are familiar with (“I see dead people” ). But that doesn’t apply here because the voice coming from the room is not a ghost; it’s Damen. Yep, he’s in her room at night.

Untitled-2(Seriously guys, why do people keep calling this a Twilight rip-off?)

Ever swears it’s a dream and Noel proves it by cutting to class. So we ended last chapter on Damen asking if she could see him, we start with Ever describing how Damen is there and we cut to class? Was there a point to this? Besides establishing he can invade the privacy of either her room or her dreams (bite me, I doubt this was just a dream). We could have at least gotten some conversation here. Now that you established that “he’s all Ever thinks about”, would you mind showing why should I care?!

Damen starts forcing a conversation out of her and it’s like pulling teeth. I have to admit it amused me a bit in a way:

[… similar snarky narration…]

"Your aunt seems nice." He looks at me, tapping the end of
his pen on his desk, making this continuous click, click, click
sound that really sets me on edge. (Would you just stop that, you prick? I have  a migraine!)

"Yeah, she's great," I mumble, mentally cursing Mr. Robins
for lingering in the faculty bathroom, wishing he'd just stow
the flask and come do his job already. (Can the teacher do its job so I have an excuse to tell him to shut up?!)

"I don't live with my family either," Damen says, his voice
quieting the room, quieting my thoughts, as he spins the
pen on the tip of his finger, twirling it around and around
without faltering. (I hope that pen flies off his hand and stab him in the eye)

I press my lips together and fumble with the iPod in my
secret compartment, wondering how rude it would seem if I
turned it on and blocked him out too. (I’m sick of this annoying chatter; I want out!)

 

I know they’ll end up together and this is Noel’s way of being coy about them, but I do love the idea of Ever being honestly annoyed with this guy. He’s creepy and sleazy and just annoys the crap out of me.

They keep talking about his life—he’s emancipated—as he plays around with the pen and—Oh, lord:

 

"What?" I squint, distracted by the sight of Damen's magic
pen now hovering between us,
as Honor makes fun of my
clothes, and her boyfriend pretends to agree even though
he's secretly wondering why she never dresses like me. And
it makes me want to lift my hood, crank my iPod, and drown
it all out. Everything. Including Damen. Especially Damen.

 

I see that you graduated the Cullen school for subtlety with high honors, Damen. Nobody will ever know you are an eternal super powered teenager going to school to chase after underage girls if you keep that up.  Also, ha, I don’t want any BS about the hoodies after that paragraph. Although I doubt it, this book just smells like it will have a make over scene where everyone will comment how gorgeous Ever has been all along.

We jump to lunch time and I think I just broke my neck teleporting. Seriously, I could use those transitions stars right about now. She’s with him at lunch, opening her lunch pack, when she finds a tulip  inside. This causes a personality transplant in her and enjoy his company. She even comments that she’s not bothered by “his tricks” (tricks from an auraless boy, with super speed, auraless girlfriend and glamour no less). Instead she wants to gush over the fact she’s “an average girl next to a better than average boy.”

What’s with YA authors like Noel putting their female characters down in order to be in a relationship? Ella never did something like that, and her love interest was a prince. She always stood as his equal in heart and understanding. Love is equality! Also, aren’t you weirded out by the fact he had easy access to your lunch? I would, you don’t know where else he might feel entitled to access. He’s known you for 3 days, these types of acts are better from somebody that knows you better. An actual boyfriend, for example.

Haven shows up and is an aura of spiteful jealousy making Ever hide like a mouse. Ever asks her about Miles and she says he’s with a new internet crush called hornyyoungdingdong307. No, I am not making that name up. While I don’t approve, I do have to say at least somebody is trying to move on and find other fish than Damen. I can only hope the rest of this school learn the same lesson.

Little miss Queen bitch of the undead asks how was everyone’s weekend and our eventual couple shrugs. Haven takes this as cue to say she joined a vampire club and went to a club. Since I don’t belong to this sub culture I don’t know how much of this is BS and it’s boring to booth so I’m skipping. Miles shows up and Damen asks if she met any Immortals there (so Immortals hang with vampires?). Haven says “Tons” which fills me with dread.

But ha! I knew this book would have  the test of friendship cliché. I bet Haven gets brainwashed and joins the cult and Ever has to say her with the power of friendship. Which is bogus because these 3 aren’t friends. They tolerate each other at best.

Conversation turns to Miles, who spent his weekend on a game. He’s distraught because he spent the time texting a liar. When he asked for “pics or gtfo” the person on the other side sent him a picture of a model and he knows for a fact that’s not who’s been texting him. This of course flies over the head of some:

I squint at the thumbnail, not quite getting what he's so
angry about. "How do you know it's not him?" I ask,
glancing at Miles.


And then Damen says, "Because it's me."

Dun, Dun DUUUNN!! Or it would be if I were invested in this novel. How the hell did Ever not recognize him though? Did the smolderer go through an awkward faze in his youth?

Well, that is all for now. Tune in next time when Damen explains his sordid net pics. Until next time, this is Shaolina signing out!

 

(Chapter 9)

 

on 2010-09-13 02:48 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] zelda-queen.livejournal.com
That screen name... O_o Wow

And yeah, Damen is just creepy. And word on the equality in relationships thing. Those are my favorite couples, the ones who are on the same footing and view each others as equals.

on 2010-09-13 03:42 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] shaolina.livejournal.com
I know. There's a porny screenname and then there's THAT! Besides, it's too long. Good porny names are puns and a bit shorter. That one just looks like overkill.

Damen is a ball of slime who is trying to pass as charming. It doesn't work. He's not a jerk so far, I'll give him that, but he's creepy. He constantly invades Ever's personal space, feels the need to get in her stuff, shows off his powers to her (which would alter a normal human) and says creepy things from time to time. No, just no on the dating department.

Same here. I like my couples between characters that can see each other eye to eye. You can't really love somebody unless you love yourself and I just get annoyed at these "He's too good for me" girls because we are supposed to sigh and think the same. You can't love that way!

on 2010-09-13 09:58 am (UTC)
Posted by (Anonymous)
True say, Miss Shaolina, true say.
Quote from The Love Guru
"To love others, you must first learn to love yourself." :)

on 2010-09-13 01:53 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] shaolina.livejournal.com
Exactly! At the end of the day the first person you have is yourself. If you hate yourself or think so little of yourself, how do you plan to understand what is love? How can you give what you don't have?

And I know there are people who think so little of themselves, but they are the people who end in bad situations. The people who end in loveless relationships, dependent or abusive. That is not the basis of a "True love forever" story.

You can appreciate your partner and feel lucky to have found him/her, but not to the extent you feel you're short-changing him/her. Because then it's not a true relationship.

I've never seen The love guru though. Is it a good movie?

on 2010-09-15 04:14 am (UTC)
Posted by (Anonymous)
And that is why I love my boyfriend (looks up above) he can tell if something annoys me well. And he doesn't damn well stalk me!
A very good movie, really funny XD

on 2010-09-15 11:55 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] shaolina.livejournal.com
Congrats on having a non-creepy boyfriend. That's something I wouldn't mind reading about.

Evermore is a book series, I have yet to snark away at a movie. But thank you for the compliment.

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