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Rant 1: “He’s either gay or into me” and other friendship faux pas of YA books
So during the weekend I went shopping with my mother and my two baby siblings like we always do when my mother needs something and a babysitter to tag along. She had a conference this week and needed a facial since she was going to speak. She asks me to go somewhere with my siblings and I take them to Marshalls because there was no toy store nor park in sight and that was the only place with A/C.
On the lower floor they find a toy fish, net and fishing rod and end up having the time of their life playing grab the fish before the sea bear comes in and eats them. In turn I find that that place sells books, which was weird since I never pictured that store as one to sell books. Then again the single bookshelf had cooking books, travel guides, dictionaries and YA books (mostly Twilight followed by House of Night and Evermore). I decide to grab the single YA book that I did not know and to this moment I can’t remember the name. All I knew was that I recognized the cover from my best friend’s room a year ago.
I read the back of the book and I bursted out laughing and began making fun of it out loud at the store. From the little blurb I figured out the whole book at its core and predicted every turn as it went along. It was so generic I kept thinking somebody should just write a YA book in madlibs form. But what really got me was the fact that the third guy of the book. The back says the girl will form part of a team, said team has 3 guys and two of this guys will fall in love with her (One is a hot nice guy with a heart of gold and a positive attitude, the other is a smoking badboy with a mysterious past. Guess who she ends with.) The third guy? He’s gay.
Now I don’t mind homosexuality in books. I actually want more of it because it shows that as a society we're accepting it. The younger generations are starting to see it as normal and eventually it will not be a bad thing to be gay and a politician or gay and a professor or gay and a soldier. That’s my stance on that. My problem with this is the way friendship is portrayed in the books I’ve read focused on girls.
The supernatural YA genre is getting lots of attention recently and they all seem to share the ideals of friendship: none. Even double for the female protagonists and the males around them. It’s like the author feels that if a male character that is highlighted in the story doesn’t fall for the main character then that means she’s not really pretty. And by that logic the girl reading the book in question will not identify with the character because all girls like is being pretty.
(That and sparkles. Lots and lots of sparkles)
It’s like for every guy who doesn’t bend over to the main character’s will she will receive a hairy mole in her face and we can’t have that. But sometimes we don’t want every guy after her (and thus us), so what to do? Hence the gay guy. An excuse to say “Not every guy is after her” but not because she’s not attractive or annoying. And so the girl can keep relating to the main character since she’s still attractive. It cements that escapism flavor that: “So he’s not that into you, he must be gay because you are so wonderful.” And in doing do the gay character stops being a character and becomes as meaningful as a designer purse or a stylish pair of earrings.
Thing is, who here hasn’t had a friend of the opposite sex? Somebody with who you talk to, fist-bump or tell your problems to and no sexual tension. Having a friend like that in real life is a treasure, so why is it so hard to compute in fiction. Why must every guy want the main character and if not he’s gay? Friendship is after all the basis of all kinds of love.
What keeps families together, classmates, companions and lovers is the friendship we feel for them. That’s why a kid wants to play with his parents and his parents want to be their best friend, why most people try to make a good impression on the first day of anything or communicate with others. No lovers can remain together without being friends, yet so many writers I’ve encountered miss that and in doing so parents don’t matter, friends are stepping stools and lovers is somebody you have the “No, I love you more” talk. It all rings hollow.
“But all guys want one thing! It’s obvious. No guy will talk to you unless it’s to get in your pants” No it’s not and I hate that mentality. Plenty of guys out there have several goals and not all involve getting with you. My best guy friend doesn’t want me at all that way. Never did and if after 5 years he shudders at the idea then I doubt he will. He finds me adorable, sure, but he says that with the same voice he finds my sister adorable. Which is why none of his girlfriends have ever hated me. XD
I think writers in this area should try taking the risk of writing not-gay platonic friends who are there for you to watch bad movies, watch sports and pat you in the head when you cry. They can still have their romance with the dreamy guy while having a really good friend who truly likes her as a friend. Maybe then a lot of these stories will become more meaningful and at least it will stand out from the rest. Think of how successful Harry Potter is and no matter what bad points I may bring, I will admit fully that that series knows how to feature a main character with great friends. Specifically think Harry with Hermione. He hangs with Hermionie, stand by each other through everything from laughs to cries and not once has Harry wanted to nail Hermionie because Hermionie is just a friend in the most beautiful sense of the word and she doesn’t have to be a lesbian for that to happen.
And on that note this is Shaolina signing out. (PS: I don't hate HP, I'm just not a huge fan of it. I'm in the like side of it)
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I dunno, it's a bit sad to see stuff like that. It almost reminds me of when I was a kid and had my vast number of Fisher Price dolls and had them all be each others' siblings and cousins and parents and significant others.
Incidentally, it's for the very reason that you pointed out that I liked Leah of Twilight's ending. I know it was probably meant to be inferior, but she had a friend (well, Jacob, but he's probably about as good as it gets by Breaking Dawn) and a good position in their pack and was off to better her life. And people keep going on about how she and Jacob should have hooked up. Although, if it's a choice between Leah and Renesmee...bit more understandable.
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And Leah had my favorite ending. She was the only one with a life by the end of the series.
But this rant is more about the lack of friends in general. Take Evermore. Why isn't Miles not gay? Or why doesn't Ever have a non gay friend who's not into her? Why does Mike need to be into Bella? Couldn't he be the male voice while he pines for Jessica? It seems to me that in female YA novels every guy either has the hots for you or is gay, at least as far as I've read.
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I also a question: Do any of these gay characters end up with someone? I know it's a bit of a formula to make all of the main characters in YA pair up in some way, but, do the gay characters every do? Just curious.
Either way, you have a point and it makes all the books extremly boring.
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So far, no. And I don't mind single characters at all. The problem is that in a way the gay guy seems to be there to be your fabulous gay friend. And while yes, some gay guys are camp, as some of my friends are, these characters just seem to be there to promote the dull fantasy. It's not like Lord Akeldama from Soulless, for example, who is gay and very camp, but smart with a scientific curiosity, funny, charming and with a life and goals outside of Alexia.
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(Anonymous) 2010-08-20 05:45 am (UTC)(link)I don't like the books, not at all, but the guy in it who's gay is really, well, real. And he has good reason to not like the main character instead of somthing cliche.)
Valkyrie, Peace :)
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(Anonymous) 2010-08-20 05:54 am (UTC)(link)no subject
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Except that a lot of people say that because Hermione goes to Harry for advice and comfort whenever she has trouble with Ron, then that means that they should be together. So, if Hermione went to Ginny for comfort, then that would make her a lesbian or bisexual?
I've seen people also trot out the hero/heroine argument, too. I have three words for them: Luke and Leia. Luke Skywalker is the hero of "Star Wars." Han Solo, however important and major his role is, is still officially the Best Friend. And yet right from the beginning, long before we found out that Luke and Leia were brother and sister, it was obvious that Leia, the leading lady, was leaning toward Han.
I even saw one reviewer of DH say that it was impossible for Harry and Hermione to have been together alone in a tent during wartime without any sexual tension whatsoever, that it was unrealistic because they were both heterosexual teenagers. Fine. So, if a brother and sister are alone in a tent together, they're going to feel the urge to jump each other's bones too because they're both heterosexual teenagers? Harry specifically told Ron that Hermione was "like a sister" to him. Why is it so unreasonable to expect a straight boy and a straight girl to keep their hands off each other and have no trace of attraction to each other? That line of reasoning reminds me of the homophobic idiots who insist that gay men want to bang every guy they see, no matter if he's straight or gay.
It's as if these people have never heard of platonic relationships. Apparently, the only reason why boys would hang out with girls was so that they could date them. Quite frankly, I find that assumption insulting to boys. By that reasoning, I guess my father must be cheating on my mother 24/7 since he has a lot of female friends. I guess that my mother must be cheating on my father as well, since she has a lot of male friends, too. *eyeroll*
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So I still stand to what I say. Most of these stories already come with a designated love interest anyway. Would Twilight have been worst if Mike had been a guy who appreciates Bella just as a friend? Hell no. In fact it would have shown that Bella has good qualities aside from the looks she claims she doesn't have. It would have made her a bit less of a Mary Sue. It would have force her to be somebody likable in some degree. The book would have still sucked, I'm sure, but a bit less.