Jul. 31st, 2010

shaolina: (Default)
I won't post The host spork until monday, sorry for the delay. Still, I just came up with something (well, technically I did a week ago, but I finally wrote it down)

The Bree Tanner drinking game:


Because let’s face it, the only two ways to enjoy this novella is either take the lulz road (Diego is gay for Riley and Bree’s too stupid to notice, etc.) or the get drunk road. Now I warn you, this one may lead to alcohol poisoning or plenty of potty emergencies if playing with juice or water. Just putting that out there! The game goes as follows 

Take a shot every time:


1) Diego talks about Riley in a “loving” and trusting way.

2) Bree says she doesn’t get what’s going on.

Double if it’s after a logic chain that tells her she should run away.

            Take an extra one if she says “Oh I wish Diego were here so I could understand what’s going on” or a variant at the end of that.

            Chug if it prompts her to ask “Where is Diego?” (This doesn’t apply to every “Where’s Diego?” just the ones that come out of Bree “not getting what’s going on.” If you drink for every “Where’s Diego?” make sure to leave a suicide note.)

3) Meyer tries to be cool and street. (Trust me, you need this shot)

       Double if it involves ninjas or bad spelling.

4) Bree acts as a coward even though she described herself as a god at the start of the book.

            Double if it involves cowering behind Fred.

5) For ever Eclipse canon rape that happens. (Like the fact Bree “tells” Edward everything but it’s never mentioned or Esme wanting to save Bree unlike in the actual book where it’s Carlisle only who wants to save Bree).

6)  Bree praises the Cullens.
             Double if she goes on about how awesome Bella is for hanging with vamps.

7)  Bree describes somebody as immature.

8)  Riley's tactical genius and leadership skills doesn't show at all.

9) For every random murder scene that gets ignored later on, even though the ammounts of people they eat should have the police in a frenzy.

             Double when they kill more than five people.
             Double if the way they hide evidence is retarded. (Explosions are not subtle and will prove inconsistent when investigating the scene)

10) And finally, take a shot whenever Bree comments on how much she loves Diego.
            Chug if it is followed by a comment along the lines of "I wonder if he would choose me over Riley". Because that kind of denial needs plenty of it.


XD Huh, I actually enjoyed doing that. Maybe I should come up with one for The host.


shaolina: (Default)

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